Why do we suffer?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why do good things happen to bad people?

Why do people die?

Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?

As I looked at the ceiling in my my bedroom I wondered all these things. Being back from my first year in college I now live in the basement of where I once played as a child. Countless memories are found here as I lay in a place where I ponder the world.

Why?

This is a question I have asked myself for all 19 years of my life. Why? 

Growing up I wanted to know why the sky was blue. I wanted to know why the grass was green, why the birds could fly so high above me but I was stuck on the ground. I wanted to know why I could run only as fast as my legs could take me and not move like the deer did. I wanted to know why every good tasting food was bad. I wanted to know why girls liked the “bad boys”. I wanted to know why I liked the “good girls”. I wanted to know why I wasn’t ever going to be the smartest, fastest, or strongest.

I was always told I would be the hardest worker but never the greatest worker.

Yet the greatest question I have always come to is: Why am I here?

Essentially asking, “What is my purpose?”

A wise man once told me “When a human being finds purpose he can accomplish anything.”

I’ve carried those words in my heart all these years. Since that day I searched high and low for my purpose. I traveled, I wrote, I created, I loved, I lost, but I never really took the time to look inside. It took one a suicidal man, a broken rape victim, and terminally ill girl to lead me to my purpose. God brought those people, as well as many others, into my life. They constantly remind me why I am here.

What is my purpose?

To change the world. One person at a time.

while laying in this bed I took sometime to look over old film and create this:

    If you truly love someone you’ll let them go. Isn’t that the biggest bunch of cliche crap someone could tell you? That if you truly love someone more than yourself you will let them go.

   Unfortunately that cliche crap is true. If you love someone more than yourself you let them go. You have to put them first always. Even if that means letting them be with someone else because your not the best choice for them. Even if it means they want/need to be with someone else than you. You must let them go.

   What is love anyway? 

   For a long time I thought love was just a word we used to describe the best thing we had found so far in our life. For a long time I thought love was just a myth. Something our parents told us to make us feel better. Much like Santa Clause or the tooth fairy. For a while, I doubted loves existence. 

   Then I met that one person… yeah stubborn idiots like me… we always meet that person that needs to prove us wrong. Call it God, fate, or whatever you want she was brought into my life for some darn reason. She helped me grow as a person for a season and hopefully I helped her grow in her own way. The times we spent together were priceless and I probably wouldn’t trade them for the riches of the world. Memories I have made with this young lady will probably be forever imprinted in my heart.

   But now it’s time to let go. Maybe I’m not the right guy or maybe this isn’t the right time. Maybe I’m just too screwed up of a person or maybe she’s just too good of a person. But now it’s time for me to let go.

   I’m left here with only memories…

   How do I let go?

   How do I let go?

Few will understand the true greatness of this picture…